You Can't Get it Here

You Can't Get it Here

10 Things I Miss about Good 'Ole U.S.A.

It's not until you leave your home country that you realize what you'll miss. Naturally, what (rather who) you miss most are people you left behind – friends, family, neighbors and acquaintances with whom you have a shared history. Those folks aren't replaceable. I won't include them on this list. Instead, here, in no particular order, are 10 items, features or systems either in short supply or nonexistent in places we've traveled: *Note: item #9 is particular to New Zealand and Australia.

1. Large, straight highways
   America's famous for its multiple-lane highways (called motorways in many other English-speaking countries). The highway system makes long-distance car travel speedier and easier than other places we've traveled. The highways are lined with free public toilets (called restrooms in the U.S.). Bonus.

      2. Plentiful petrol stations

Americans have a knack for placing gas stations anywhere, including the middle of nowhere. Not so in many other countries, including New Zealand. En route from Napier to Taupo today, I saw a sign that read, "Next petrol, 131 kms." That's 2 hours of twisty mountain driving. Or an eternity if you leave town with a quarter of a tank or less (thank goodness my flatmate had warned me about the lack of re-fueling options, so I was fully tanked).

3. Window screens
   It's the same scenario whether we're in France, Spain, Ireland, South Africa, Australia or here in New Zealand: No window screens. Everyone leaves windows and doors open to catch a breeze. They then comment about the high number of flies in the house, and walk around unleashing toxic clouds of bug spray. Sean and I once stayed in a charming white-walled room on the Italian island of Elba. We left the windows open to let in the sea breeze, along with a swarm of buzzing mosquitoes. I set about like a crazy woman, jumping on the bed, whapping blood-suckers with a magazine. My extermination attempt resulted in dozens of bloody streaks on once-white walls. Now, that's romantic.

4. Water and ice dispensers in refrigerator doors
   I've seen one refrigerator that dispensed water, in New Zealand. I haven't yet stayed anywhere that had the luxury of ice-on-demand. When I find that place, I'm parking myself in front of the fridge with an ice bucket and mixing up a batch of frozen margaritas.
   

   

   NZ: Line-dried

5. A clothes dryer I can freely use
   Most homes we've visited have had clothes dryers, but they were reserved for special occasions, such as the visit of a soon-departing widow and her 2 small, dirt-seeking children. Or a visit from royalty. Electricity is so expensive in many countries people have sought refuge for their damp shirts, pants and undies on a (gasp) clothes line. I was especially delighted when our ex-pat American hosts in Sydney explained their rationale for bucking the system. The wife told me, "We bought the best dryer we could find. One that actually dries the clothes. I don't do the clothes line thing. The clothes are crunchy, they get rained on and sometimes, crapped on." Hmmm...hadn't considered bird crap. I will say I've hung several loads of wash on a line and haven't yet died or gotten ill from wearing crunchy clothing. No crap yet, either, but I'm sure my time will come.

6. Cheap gas
   Try paying the equivalent of $6/gallon, and the price is still rising.

7. Cheap food: 
   I'm looking at my latest grocery receipt, converting litres to gallons and NZ dollars to U.S. currency. It's probably better the cost of items takes some figuring, or I'd be screaming in the grocery store aisles. Here are U.S. equivalents I've recently paid:
    -1 gallon of reduced-fat milk: $5.25
   -1 bunch of celery: $2.70
   -1 pound of nectarines: $2.00
   -6 ounces of hummus (take your average-sized coffee cup and divide it in half): $1.90
   What wasn't on the shopping list this time? Meat and fish. You can buy snapper fillet for around $13/pound, chicken breasts for $7.30/pound, and lamb loin chops for around $8/pound. These are "sale" prices at one popular store. And New Zealand produces heaps of milk and lamb, which are the sold worldwide for whatever the global market will bear. That leaves Kiwis paying relatively high prices. Also, food is subject to GST (goods and services tax) of 15%. If you're dining out, expect to pay $15 for a lunch salad in a cafe, or $6 for a grilled chicken salad at McDonald's (I should've priced a Big Mac, but I don't eat them...) Keep in mind, the U.S. dollar is trading (as of this writing) at around 73 cents to the New Zealand dollar, so Yanks get a price break. Locals don't.

8. Cheap gas station coffee
   I'm a fan of brewed coffee found at U.S. gas stations, mixed with a shot or 2 of hot chocolate from the ubiquitous machine. Forget pump coffee dispensers: many petrol stations in other countries employ clerks who double as barristas. A cup of BP or Shell coffee in NZ costs around $3.00.

9. Black People
   Admittedly, hardly any African-Americans live in my town, Spokane, Washington. But there are seriously no black folks around here (maybe they're hanging in Auckland. Wait a minute, that was Oakland (California). My friend, Jean, who recently visited, remarked that "Auckland" in Kiwi sounds like "Oakland." Maybe that explains the lack of cocoa-skinned folk...they're in Oakland. It also explains my addiction to the reality TV show, "The Real Housewives of Atlanta." I wanted to hear dialect and see finger snaps. Sista, girl...get me a sista. Lionel Richie and his band performing in NZ just increased the percentage of black people here by about 400%.

10. An overall low cost-of-living. 
    This varies widely throughout the U.S., so Californians, disregard this item. If you live in Spokane, you know what I'm talking about: 4-bedroom homes for an average $200,000, cheap (relative to most places) utilities and 16-ounce tubs of hummus at Costco for $6.

This is not necessarily a gripe, just observations. Every country has its charms and its shortcomings. You get one thing, give up another. It's late – time to pour myself a $2 glass of milk and turn in. Right after I throw the laundry in the... Forget it. It'll go on the clothesline tomorrow. Birds, beware: I'm watching you. And if the price of poultry climbs any higher, I'll eat you.