Skip to main content

Happy 50th, Sean

Happy 50th, Sean
Sean in St. Lucia, West Indies, June, 2003

Today would’ve been my late husband’s 50th birthday (I can’t believe I’m writing “late” in reference to Sean, because he hated being late). At least, it would’ve been his birthday today in New Zealand. We’re nearly a full day ahead of the United States. This is fitting, because the kids and I are moving ahead in so many ways. Ways Sean would be proud of.

En route to school today, I reminded Fiona and Finley (ages 7 and 5) that today was Daddy’s birthday. “That was fast,” said Fiona. “I wish my birthdays would come that fast!” (Just wait, kid. Your turn will come, when birthdays arrive so quickly they make your head spin). Fiona said, “Can we buy Daddy a cake? We   can let the wind blow out the candles, like it’s his spirit.” Good idea, honey. Finley said, “Can you turn up the radio? I love this song!” I turned up the radio.

I dropped the kids at school and took The Boyfriend, Pete, to breakfast at a café in downtown Mount Maunganui. I’d bought one of those half-price Internet coupons that are very popular at the moment, and it had been burning a hole in my wallet for a couple weeks. I told Pete it would’ve been Sean’s birthday and I was planning to pick up cupcakes for the occasion. “I think I have something that would work,” said Pete. He later pulled from his fridge a gorgeous, chocolate-iced banana/pear cake he’d made by sheer coincidence to give the kids and me. 

The sun shone, the temperature climbed to the comfortable mid-60’s (18 degrees Celsius), even though, technically, it’s winter. I didn’t have grand plans for today. Several people have asked if this would be or has been a tough day. It hasn’t. I wondered, too, if I’d be sad.  As a young widow friend who’s also found new love wrote, “Eventually we have to let go of the past and it is easier when we know there is something or someone to hold us into the present and point the direction to the future.”

I enjoyed holding today’s “present.” A sprained ankle forced me to forgo my usual Tuesday morning run with the Mount Joggers. Instead, I spent most of the day with Pete, writing, surfing the ‘Net, sharing pictures (he, of his mum’s house, me, of my house in Spokane). The day was unscripted, unplanned and unremarkable, except for the fact that it was unremarkable. 
Amy added writing to Pete's cake

The kids and I ate the chocolate-iced banana/pear cake with our flatmates, Amy and Blythe. Amy whipped out her cake decorating supplies and wrote, “Happy birthday Sean,” on top. We lighted candles, sang “Happy Birthday,” and brought the cake outside in hopes the wind (representing Sean’s spirit) would snuff the flames. One candle went out. The kids puffed out the rest. The cake was delicious - its moist banana and pear flavors sat happily beneath the chocolate icing, which the kids licked clean before devouring the cake. I asked Fiona and Finley what they’d give Daddy if he were here. “I’d give him wine,” said Fiona, looking about 12 years old in dress-up clothing, lipstick and new, adult-sized teeth. “Daddy liked beer better,” I told her. “Oh, I’d give him beer, then,” said Fiona. Finley said, “I’d give him a ball so he could play with me.”
Blythe, Finley and Fiona blow out the candles

Somewhere, I like to imagine Sean smiling, kicking a soccer ball, throwing back a Guinness. The kids and I can be sad another day. Today, I raise a virtual glass to a man who loved his family, his work and his community. In Sean’s honor, hug your kids a little tighter, kiss your significant other, if you have one, (drink a Guinness, if you're so inclined) and be thankful for whatever good thing happened today.

Comments

  1. Debra ParkJune 21, 2011 at 5:46 AM

    Happy Birthday, Happy Solstice, Sean & family!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Chronicles of IllusionsSeptember 18, 2011 at 7:18 PM

    Hey Dawn,
    Jo here from the meeting at my house in Katikati. I've been reading some of your posts - love the temper tantrum !!
    And now - well - my tears are flowing. What a wonderful way to celebrate Sean and his life with your family. Loved meeting you today. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dawn PickenNovember 16, 2011 at 2:01 PM

    Thanks, Jo. It was lovely meeting you. The writing group has given me just the jump-start I needed. Very, very inspiring. See you Monday!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Remove Before Flight

Remove Before Flight “The elevator’s trim, rudder’s trim, mixture’s rich, flaps are at ten degrees…” Pete, the PAHT-nah (partner), is talking through a pre-flight checklist as we wait to taxi from the Tauranga airport. In the nearly 12 months we’ve known each other, Pete’s talked about taking me flying. Now, with my departure from New Zealand less than ten days away, the weather, schedules, and aircraft maintenance have obliged so Pete can fulfill his promise. The sky is overcast, but the cloud ceiling will allow us to fly at 2,500 feet; it’s the weekend, so we’re not competing with flight school students for air time; and there’s a new-ish plane (called FCO, or Foxtrot Charlie Oscar) Pete has enough confidence in to haul what he calls “precious cargo,” which is me. Pete checks the Cessna 152 single-engine propeller aircraft as I watch. He walks the plane’s perimeter, inspecting flaps, wheels, the rudder… He gives me a couple wooden door-stopper-looking blocks (called chocks). “Remo...
4 comments
Read more

Jumping Off a Cliff

 I jumped from a cliff in Oregon last Friday. Actually, I ran straight off. There was nothing unpleasant about that particular patch of grass high above Oceanside. But standing with my feet planted on the ground was preventing me from completing an item on my “bucket list:” flying. Strapped to a harness, an emergency parachute and my instructor pilot, Todd, I launched into my first paragliding experience (for an explanation of what paragliding is, click here): http://discoverparagliding.com/Pages/faq.html#WhatisPG It was glorious. I sat against the back of my chute and felt the wind against my face. I felt birdlike, calm, free. Todd steered over the tops of pine trees and the roofs of houses. I waved to a man on his deck below. I listened to waves crashing against Three Arches rocks and inhaled the salt air. Flinging yourself from terra firma isn’t easy. I could’ve knit a sweater between my knocking knees, I was shaking so much. But the desire to soar triumphed over attachment t...
13 comments
Read more

Leaving Home

Pisa, Italy, 2008 When you’ve seen, felt, even smelled how quickly life as most of us know it can unwind, the phrase, “life is short,” isn’t cliché or abstract, it’s real. So if you’ve ever had a wish or wild hair, you know the time to act is now. That’s why I’m planning to take a big “time out” to travel with the kids. The plan: travel internationally for about a year. World Experience Travel, and opening our door to people from other countries, was part of Sean’s life and mine before we met. I lived in Luxembourg as a high school exchange student for a year, and stayed in the Grand Duchy again for 6 months while in college. Sean hosted a German exchange student, Max, before we met. Together, we hosted a Swiss student, Angi, before we had kids. Anne, also from Switzerland, nannied for us for half a year after Fiona and Finley came along. Sean and I sent ourselves on a belated 3-week honeymoon to Europe in 2001, then to St. Lucia in 2003. After Fiona arrived in 2004, when s...
13 comments
Read more