I’m standing
in the kitchen on a Friday night, pulling peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies
from the oven, when Pete walks in.
“Hey, Babe,”
he says. “Oh, smells good in here.”
The
combination of peanut butter, chocolate and the lingering scent of tomato sauce
and pesto from homemade pizza makes our house smell like love.
The scents
dull my disappointment over our cancelled date: the PAHT-nah and I are supposed
to be in town, feasting on Asian food. Pete called earlier in the afternoon,
saying his boss wasn’t flying out until seven that night, so he’d be home late.
Damn. We need a night away from the kids. We need to talk. We need to eat a
good meal we neither have to cook nor clean up.
“How was
work?” I ask, even though I could recite the answer myself: “Full-on; hardly a
moment’s break; they’re asking for ten impossible things before noon…”
Instead,
Pete tells me the day wasn’t half-bad; he had a beer with the boss after
work. He goes upstairs to change.
My friend,
Louise, enters the living room with a friend. They wear going-out frocks, shoes
and makeup. Louise is dropping off her son, Raymond. At four-and-a-half years
old, he’s tall for his age, blonde and easygoing. We often swap sleepovers for
our kids.
Pete, still
in his flight school uniform with gold and navy striped epaulets, crisp white
shirt and navy trousers, comes back downstairs to greet Louise and Lois. After
small chat and ‘Have a good time,’ they’re off.
I ease open
the oven. The scent of peanut butter baking into a conglomeration of flour, butter,
sugar and chocolate fills my nostrils. Pete says, “Can you come upstairs for a
moment? I want to show you something.” I place two hot cookie trays on the
stove top and decide against baking another batch just yet.
On the small
balcony off our bedroom, Pete has placed a bottle of champagne, two glasses and
a candle, which keeps blowing out in the wind. “Maybe try placing it in a
bowl?” I suggest. Pete finds a glass and pops in the tea light.
“I’m sorry
we couldn’t have a date tonight,” says Pete. “I wanted us to spend a few
moments together. And I wanted to give you this.”
He sets a
two-inch tall lavender box on the table. It’s tied with silver satin ribbon.
“Is this a
charm for my bracelet?” I ask. I don’t want to assume…
I pull the
ribbon, slip it off and open the box. Upside down. The inner chamber falls out,
leaving a sparkling circle at the bottom of the container. Indeed, it’s a ring.
The PAHT-nah
and I had started talking about rings shortly after my birthday. We were
celebrating at Mission Estate Winery in Hawke’s Bay, waiting on steak (his) and
fish (mine). Pete looked down at my left hand, on which I wore a gold ring with
leaf design. My parents gave it to me when I turned sixteen.
“Isn’t that on
the wrong hand?” Pete asked.
“Well, it
feels kinda bare,” I replied. I’m used to having something there…
We’d started
talking about marriage about six months into our relationship, around the time
we moved in together. I’m Someone-Who-Values-Marriage. I knew Pete’s platinum
membership in the Never-Been-Married club made him a risky proposition for
husband material. But he makes me laugh,
helps steady my nerves so I don’t beat the children (too badly) and is handy
with a hammer. Just thinking about
intimacy with him sends ghost fingers of wonder across my skin. I catch myself
sighing out loud. We don’t just have
chemistry, we have Advanced Chemistry: Kinetics with reaction rates and colliding
molecules whose energy and geometry are so well-suited, liquid in the test tube
starts bubbling before you’ve added liquid number two.
I’m getting
sidetracked (‘Sidetrack,’ by the way, is the name of the café where we first
met for coffee). Hormones will do that.
I had hoped
that when the kids and I returned from the States late last August, Pete would
have greeted us at the airport with treats for the kids and an engagement ring
for me. One outta two makes for a twitchy American.
“I’m too old
to be someone’s girlfriend,” I told Pete during the aforementioned birthday
dinner.
I had started to wonder if, in fact, the PAHT-nah and I had
hit the one slippery steel wall we couldn’t scale. We’d survived cultural
differences: he considers French fries a vegetable and recreates on the couch watching
movies involving shooting, car chases and conspiracies.
We abided seven-thousand miles of distance over four months; we’ve managed the Tasmanian devil called Finley and his Emmy-award wanna-be
sister, Fiona; we’ve surmounted
crises that would’ve shredded other couples like the wood chipper in the movie,
Fargo, shredded Carl Schowalter.
I
feared our Waterloo was I couldn’t live together indefinitely sans nuptials and he could (Or that I pitched a pair of his thirty-year-old
stereo speakers without asking first, but that story deserves its own blog
post).
You know, you shouldn’t
live together if you want to be married, said my Inner Critic. Because
it might never happen.
“I’m not a
patient woman,” I told Pete during the birthday dinner.
I’m a pacing puppy in the space before engagement. One year is seven to me.
Thank God
Pete has a sense of humor. And I’m pretty sure he can detect an imminent doggie
dash.
“I want to do this right,” he said. “I want to
talk to your dad and the kids first and I want to get you a nice ring.”
“You can go to
the Warehouse and buy a band for two-hundred dollars,” I said. “The important
part is being married. Save the flashy diamonds for our tenth anniversary.”
Back on the
balcony last Friday night, I’m pulling out the ring as Pete kneels before me.
“Sweetie, I
love you. I want to spend my life with you. Will you marry me?” he asks.
“Yes, Honey.
Absolutely.”
The ring is
a solitaire set off by a square of small, flashy diamonds. More diamonds shoot
down the sides.
We’re about
to toast our love and happiness when Fiona appears.
“Is it okay
if we watch X-Factor that we
recorded?” she asks.
Pete says,
“Do you want to see what your mum just got?”
I show Fiona
the ring. Her blue-gray eyes grow wide. Then wider. Wider still.
“We’re
getting married, honey,” I pat Fi on the shoulder.
Pete says,
“Nothing will change, Sweetie. We’re still the same.”
Fiona
displays the reaction of a rubber tree plant. Whenever I’ve asked her in the
past how she felt about Pete and me getting married, she’d say, “I want you to
marry Daddy.”
I ask Fiona
if she wants to be a bridesmaid or flower girl. “Flower girl,” she says. “And I
want to read, too.”
As soon as
Fiona disappears, Finley arrives. I show
him the ring.
“Petey and I are getting married,” I say.
Finley
smiles and rushes to wrap his arms around Pete’s midsection.
“Daddy!” he says.
“Now I can call you Daddy. Can I try
your wine?”
Pete and I
sip bubbly and talk for two hours.
“I’ve had
the ring for a month now,” Pete says. “I tried to reach your dad for a couple
weeks, and then I wanted to give this to you when we were in the Coromandel,
but either the kids packed a sad (had a tantrum) or we packed a sad (had an
adult discussion about world peace or who should be cleaning the motel before
we leave and who maybe shouldn’t go running and then drink two cups of coffee
before pitching in).
“I thought you
might take me up in a plane and propose,” I say.
“Yeah, I
thought about that…it just didn’t happen,” says Pete.
“Work’s been crazy… and this
is real.”
A car horn
honks on the street just below us.
“This is our
real life.”
That’s the
weird part. I’ve been engaged twice now.
It’s real, but not. Lots of people marry once, twice, three times… but
it still seems odd to have this kind of love – twice – in one lifetime. And
while I’ll always miss Sean, I feel such gratitude for Pete, I rarely steep in
grief.
Lionel
Richie’s “Still” plays on Pete’s iPod. Neither of us reaches to Facebook, tweet or even photograph this moment.
That’s good, because I’m not
wearing eye makeup. Also, I’ve quickly pulled on my ‘Australia’ sweatshirt to
buffer the night air’s chill, and getting engaged wearing an Aussie
shirt would be like wearing a Pittsburgh Steelers jersey to a Cleveland Browns
home game.
After two hours on the balcony, we remember
the children downstairs, including one who’s not ours. The four-year-old is
sleeping sitting up on the couch. I put Raymond to bed and tell Fiona and
Finley to brush their teeth and go to sleep. It’s ten o’clock.
I pull off
my slightly-too-big engagement ring to finish balling and baking cookies. I
place two warm ones on the counter for my fiancé and me.
Congratulations to all four of you! We know what putting new families together entails. Woo-hooo!
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!!
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!! May we see pics of the ring? Excuse me while I get some tissues, *sniff, sniff*, so beautiful.... <3
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Dawn and Pete ! I wish you many years of happiness .
ReplyDeleteSo thrilled for you and your family! You deserve every happiness!
ReplyDeleteOh I am thrilled beyond words!! Tears of joy are shed for you this night!
ReplyDeleteWonderful! As a veteran of 57 years married to one man, I heartily recommend this sacred union - not easy, but well worth over-coming the challenges and savoring thousands of shared memories. Blessing, Sue
ReplyDeleteDear Dawn, I'm very happy for you ant thank-you for share your happyness with me...too.
ReplyDeleteAuguri!!!!
Mirella
What a great love story!!! Thank you for sharing Dawn. and CONGRATULATIONS!!! xxx Erika
ReplyDeleteThanks, everyone. Our hearts are full and happy. It's wonderful to be able to share such joy with you.
ReplyDelete