Camp Cross RSS
Fiona 'fishes' off the dock at Camp Cross |
Everyone
needs a Camp Cross. It’s the place you return once or twice a year or every few
years for R & R (Rest and Relaxation, or, since it’s an Episcopal Church
camp, Rejoicing and Renewal, or maybe Reflection and Reconciliation…). I didn’t
put the puzzle pieces together until this year, but you also come to camp for
RSS – not Real Simple Syndication
(where an online feed alerts you to new blog posts or news articles), but Remarkable Sharing Sessions.
Swapping stories with other campers is like getting an audio/video version of Chicken Soup for the Soul.
This moment is all you have |
First, some
background:
Our
family’s visited camp at Lake Coeur d’Alene since 2005, when Fiona was 17
months old and Finley was a burgeoning tummy bump. I lie on the rocky beach in
Loff’s Bay, belly imprisoned in maternity spandex, reading Ina May Gaskin’s
natural childbirth manifesto, Spiritual
Midwifery
“Listen:” I’d poke Sean and excitedly say, “This woman had
a ten-pound baby WITHOUT DRUGS following a prior C-Section. She did it, and I
bet I can, too!” (Inspired by stories like the ones in Ina May’s book, several
months later, I had a natural birth with seven pound, three-ounce Finley. I credit Gartner’s RSS –which I read twice on the camp
beach - with instilling inspiration and courage).
Fiona, still
lacking confidence to walk unaided, repurposed plastic chairs as walking aids
in Wells dining hall. The next year, we brought both kids – toddler Fiona and
baby Finley back to camp, where Finley nursed nearly non-stop and Fiona asked the
Bishop for a second helping of communion bread, saying, “Want MORE body of
Christ!” Even as camp newbies, we were amassing our own library of Tales from Camp Cross.
Family
camp was the last trip we took together – just days before Sean got sick in
2009.
I
returned months after Sean’s death in 2010 to scatter his ashes in the
campfire.
I returned
again this year, more than two years post-mortem, with the usual over-abundance
of gear: sleeping bags, pillows, too many clothes – plus a new perspective, a
new love and awareness of the new life awaiting us in New Zealand.
Camp
Cross allows you to revisit your mental photo album. Right over there….that cross on the dock…I remember daydreaming on that
spot…. I see Finley’s chocolate ice cream smile peering above a dining hall
table – his three-year-old cheeks rosy and radiant… Smell the morning’s bacon
and the fire crackling in the fireplace…. Taste grilled cheese and tomato soup with
oregano – or is it basil? Hear bear claws scratching the side of the cabin at 3
am – (I’m later told these are actually chipmunks or squirrels). Awaken
to the sound of nylon sliding from a plastic mattress followed by the ‘thud’ of
a toddler hitting the cabin’s wooden floor at midnight…Smile when Sean says, ‘You
know, the boat cruise – without kids – is the best part of Family Camp.’ Flip
the pages.
Before breakfast - Wells dining hall |
This year’s RSS:
(Remarkable Sharing Sessions, spread throughout camp like pine cones):
On the
deck you hear, once more, the story of a fellow widow whose husband died of a
brain tumor. You marvel at her courage and wince at the visceral memory –the heart
pain- of loss during that first awful year.
Inside Wallace
Hall you hear another brain tumor story. This tale, however, ends in survival,
recovery and preservation of family.
At Wells
Hall, during breakfast, you listen to a couple describe how a drunk driver
nearly killed their teenage daughter. The daughter arrives at camp using a
walker, but now you see her limping without it.
On the
beach, another couple tells you their ten-year-old son is thriving following a
liver transplant two years ago. He received half an adult liver after his own
mysteriously failed.
In this
same spot, a woman tells you how she drove all night with her husband and three
children– from Washington to Utah - to comfort a friend whose husband had died –completely
by surprise - in his sleep.
Back at Wallace, you learn about a young couple’s plans for missionary work in the
center of Africa, in Congo. The husband, a pilot, will fly medical and supply
missions. The wife will look after their one-year-old son and learn to navigate
a new country where poverty’s the norm and white people are not.
At Wells,
you listen to the missionaries’ parents describe the anguish of anticipation –
the realization their grandson will soon live eight thousand miles (give or
take a few hundred) and a large ocean away. You later Google search the
distance between your kids’ grandparents in Ohio and your new home in New
Zealand – and learn it’s eight thousand miles (give or take a few hundred).
During
these Remarkable Sharing Sessions, you feel something familiar – transcendence- even if just
for a second – the ability to soar above quotidian concerns. It’s happened before
at camp. It’s not something you can force. It’s possible to transcend – stress,
pretense, preoccupation with name, rank and serial number - if you’re not
rushed. Listening to others' stories allows us to shake off our cares like a labrador retriever shakes off a swim. That doesn’t happen when you’re scurrying
between work, chores, appointments, sports and social engagements. It doesn’t
happen while texting, web surfing or Facebooking. It happens when we retreive our
dusty “I’m listening” sign from the closet and hang it around our necks.
It
happens at places like Camp Cross.
For me, camp is holy not because of prayers we say or songs we sing. It’s holy
because of stories we share.
The things that
matter to us most in our lives are not fantastic or grand. They are moments
when we touch one another, when we are there in the most attentive or caring
way. This simple and profound intimacy is the love that we all long for. ~Jack Kornfield
[Thanks,
Tina Jennen, for posting this quote]
Where do you
engage in RSS? (Remarkable Sharing Sessions)
Where are you
most likely to experience transcendent moments?
Dawn, Beautifully written! You have a knack for insight and writing what's on your heart. Yes, our stories are so interwoven. It's like Grand Canyon - did you see that movie? Thank you for this special experience. I guess I'm going back to Sandpoint this weekend - another place where I have RSS with some of the most amazing people, my soul sisters. Love and peace to you, Dawn.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Heather (can't believe I didn't respond sooner!) Haven't seen Grand Canyon, but I may have to! I'm so glad you got to share in Camp Cross.
ReplyDelete