Flood Light or Flash Light?
I joined a preschool mums group in New Zealand within the first few weeks we arrived. Nothing unusual about that, except my kids aren't preschoolers. They attend "big kid school," - primary school - 6 hours a day, 5 days a week.
One Sunday, shortly after settling in Mt. Maunganui, I met the head of family services for St. Mary's Anglican church. Bonnie invited me to join the "Seeds" group as a way to make connections. http://mountanglican.org.nz/Pre%20School.html "Even though your children are in school, it could be a good way to meet other mums close to your age," she'd said. Bonnie was right. I didn't realize before moving here that the Bay of Plenty is a popular retirement spot. Many day-time groups are comprised mostly of Kiwis three decades older than me. And cracking the primary school mums' code is happening more slowly than I'd anticipated. It's one thing to stand at the gate with other parents - quite another to strike up a friendship waiting for the school bell to ring.
So, the Seeds group has been, quite literally, a Godsend. Because it's held at a church, it attracts mostly Christian women. Maybe they felt it was their Christian duty to reach out to a traveler; maybe they were curious about the new mum; maybe they simply had enough room in their hearts and minutes in their busy lives to extend an invitation to coffee and a play date. The reason doesn't matter. What matters is they made the effort, and it's made a difference. I'm not only gathering acquaintances - quick and easy, like collecting shells on the beach - I'm developing friendships, which takes time. Finding friends is more like fishing - it requires persistence, a wide net, and the knowledge some fish aren't yours to keep.
I volunteered to help with Seeds this week, which meant leading the discussion that follows the singing and dancing. First, we jammed to such hits as "Run, run, run, run...STOP," and "Haere mai," (Haere mai, welcome everyone. Haere mai, come and join our fun...[that's my favorite, because where else but New Zealand can you sing a song that includes Maori?]) Next up was morning tea (or coffee, plus biscuits and today, one mum's luscious carrot cake).
I searched the night before for something the grown-ups could talk about that was tied to the church calendar. I found a reading for the 4th Sunday in Lent. Maybe you recognize it? It's from Ephesians (I'm no biblical scholar, but I can Google with the best of 'em):
"Once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light.
Live as children of the light- for the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true..."
The questions I posed to the group, and maybe ones you could ask yourself: 1) How have I been a light for someone? 2) How has someone been a light for me? Consider something else I stumbled on in my crack research: One clergy person who analyzed these questions said, "Whatever amount of light you can give may be appropriate in the moment." It's the idea of flood light versus night light. Compact fluorescent mega light versus a flash light (called a "torch" in NZ). You don't always need the flood light. Imagine illuminating a corner of someone's life, rather than blasting their universe with 1,000 watts.
Learning how other people have touched the Seeds circle was enlightening (pardon the pun). Bonnie told us of an Anglican priest friend who could be a flood light at times, dying her hair red, green, purple and white. Other times, such as when she helped trauma teams after the Christchurch earthquake, the priest was a night light, being present for quake victims until they were ready to talk.
Kristy has learned she can be a light for others. "I can step up and take that responsibility," she said.
Louise was grateful for Kristy's light: "I can ring her to help with the kids," she said. "On the other hand, I've been a light while helping in my husband's business."
Ruth said she'd helped a friend with cancer stay positive during treatment. Jade described a friend as a lighthouse: "She's stopped me from hitting the rocks by shining a light over a dangerous situation."
Suze mentors kids at her church. "You try to be a light and you get that light back.," she said. Annette said her late mother-in-law had been an inspiration for her, even while dying of a brain tumor. "It was her quietness and confidence in God..."
When the discussion circled back to where it started, to me, I could picture a field of flickering folks, almost a concert crowd. So many friends, family, neighbors and strangers have stood together, clicking open their lighters, providing more than enough collective light to blaze through many dark nights of the soul. I pulled a name and a face from the crowd, because my friend lives not only to share her light, but also to teach others how to spread theirs. She believes so strongly in the concept, she named her communications company Let it Shine. http://letitshinemedia.com/lu/ "Her name is Lucinda," I said, "...and she became a light for me after Sean got sick. She knew how and when to use her light without me asking." Lucinda spent time with Sean and I in the hospital, offering a shoulder, a prayer, listening ears and a loving touch. That kind of Christ-light brands itself on the folds of your memory.
Whatever amount of light you can give...I think about that as the kids and I hang our own torches in New Zealand for awhile. I bet we could find a battery or 2 and help illuminate someone else's life. We're working on it. Now, if I could just get Finley, my 5-year-old, to stop playing with the flash light, turning it on and off, on and off...
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| Seeds kids preparing for Palm Sunday |
I joined a preschool mums group in New Zealand within the first few weeks we arrived. Nothing unusual about that, except my kids aren't preschoolers. They attend "big kid school," - primary school - 6 hours a day, 5 days a week.
One Sunday, shortly after settling in Mt. Maunganui, I met the head of family services for St. Mary's Anglican church. Bonnie invited me to join the "Seeds" group as a way to make connections. http://mountanglican.org.nz/Pre%20School.html "Even though your children are in school, it could be a good way to meet other mums close to your age," she'd said. Bonnie was right. I didn't realize before moving here that the Bay of Plenty is a popular retirement spot. Many day-time groups are comprised mostly of Kiwis three decades older than me. And cracking the primary school mums' code is happening more slowly than I'd anticipated. It's one thing to stand at the gate with other parents - quite another to strike up a friendship waiting for the school bell to ring.
So, the Seeds group has been, quite literally, a Godsend. Because it's held at a church, it attracts mostly Christian women. Maybe they felt it was their Christian duty to reach out to a traveler; maybe they were curious about the new mum; maybe they simply had enough room in their hearts and minutes in their busy lives to extend an invitation to coffee and a play date. The reason doesn't matter. What matters is they made the effort, and it's made a difference. I'm not only gathering acquaintances - quick and easy, like collecting shells on the beach - I'm developing friendships, which takes time. Finding friends is more like fishing - it requires persistence, a wide net, and the knowledge some fish aren't yours to keep.
 |
| Raymond, Kiwi adventurer & Seeds participant |
I volunteered to help with Seeds this week, which meant leading the discussion that follows the singing and dancing. First, we jammed to such hits as "Run, run, run, run...STOP," and "Haere mai," (Haere mai, welcome everyone. Haere mai, come and join our fun...[that's my favorite, because where else but New Zealand can you sing a song that includes Maori?]) Next up was morning tea (or coffee, plus biscuits and today, one mum's luscious carrot cake).
I searched the night before for something the grown-ups could talk about that was tied to the church calendar. I found a reading for the 4th Sunday in Lent. Maybe you recognize it? It's from Ephesians (I'm no biblical scholar, but I can Google with the best of 'em):
"Once you were darkness, but now in the Lord you are light.
Live as children of the light- for the fruit of the light is found in all that is good and right and true..."
The questions I posed to the group, and maybe ones you could ask yourself: 1) How have I been a light for someone? 2) How has someone been a light for me? Consider something else I stumbled on in my crack research: One clergy person who analyzed these questions said, "Whatever amount of light you can give may be appropriate in the moment." It's the idea of flood light versus night light. Compact fluorescent mega light versus a flash light (called a "torch" in NZ). You don't always need the flood light. Imagine illuminating a corner of someone's life, rather than blasting their universe with 1,000 watts.
Learning how other people have touched the Seeds circle was enlightening (pardon the pun). Bonnie told us of an Anglican priest friend who could be a flood light at times, dying her hair red, green, purple and white. Other times, such as when she helped trauma teams after the Christchurch earthquake, the priest was a night light, being present for quake victims until they were ready to talk.
Kristy has learned she can be a light for others. "I can step up and take that responsibility," she said.
Louise was grateful for Kristy's light: "I can ring her to help with the kids," she said. "On the other hand, I've been a light while helping in my husband's business."
Ruth said she'd helped a friend with cancer stay positive during treatment. Jade described a friend as a lighthouse: "She's stopped me from hitting the rocks by shining a light over a dangerous situation."
Suze mentors kids at her church. "You try to be a light and you get that light back.," she said. Annette said her late mother-in-law had been an inspiration for her, even while dying of a brain tumor. "It was her quietness and confidence in God..."
When the discussion circled back to where it started, to me, I could picture a field of flickering folks, almost a concert crowd. So many friends, family, neighbors and strangers have stood together, clicking open their lighters, providing more than enough collective light to blaze through many dark nights of the soul. I pulled a name and a face from the crowd, because my friend lives not only to share her light, but also to teach others how to spread theirs. She believes so strongly in the concept, she named her communications company Let it Shine. http://letitshinemedia.com/lu/ "Her name is Lucinda," I said, "...and she became a light for me after Sean got sick. She knew how and when to use her light without me asking." Lucinda spent time with Sean and I in the hospital, offering a shoulder, a prayer, listening ears and a loving touch. That kind of Christ-light brands itself on the folds of your memory.
Whatever amount of light you can give...I think about that as the kids and I hang our own torches in New Zealand for awhile. I bet we could find a battery or 2 and help illuminate someone else's life. We're working on it. Now, if I could just get Finley, my 5-year-old, to stop playing with the flash light, turning it on and off, on and off...
Great insight, Dawn! I love the concept of flood light vs. night light. So often we just need an extra flash light beam to join our own to better see the path before us. This is just what I needed to hear today. I am blessed to have been one of many flickering lights for you and Sean.
ReplyDeleteKeep lettin' it shine!
Love, Lucinda
Luc,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad this came just when you needed it. We all need to nuture our "lighthouses," so they can keep shining. Every lighthouse needs fuel.